On the warm beach in Mexico, the sun was disappearing into the horizon. The palm trees made a soft rustling sound as the cool breeze pushed its branches. The waves crashing against shore is the sound of summer. When you get out of the water all you can taste is the saltiness stuck on your lips. Your eyes sting as the salt clings to your eye ball with an intense burning sensation. The happiness inside just makes everything so much better. It is amazing how something so simple can look so spectacular. In the distance I can see little children playing in the sand while the water whisks it away. The darkness falls over the land, and day turns to night. Music in the distance breaks the peaceful silence. Couples walk along the water line with a romantic background. Mountains in the horizon will hide the sun before it hits the water. Every ones skin is sore from the harsh rays of the daytime sun. The golden colored skin glistens from the long hours outdoors. It was just another day in paradise.
1 comment:
I thought that your description was good. I liked your first sentence because I could actually visualize myself on that beach in Mexico. There were some sentences that I thought could have been more descriptive though, for example, the line where you said the happiness inside just makes everything so much better. I think you could add something like being at the beach makes it so i forget all about it, or being at the beach makes it so I don't care about little problems like those. I also didn't really like the line where you said the waves crashing against the shore is the sound of summer. That was too much of a cliche for me. Here's a suggestion: the waves crashing against the shore were like the sound of a drum beat. I think that saying something like that would give the reader more of a sound in their head than saying it sounds like summer. Overall, good job describing and not using too many adjectives and adverbs.
Post a Comment